NEW YORK—The three books—copies of Dr. Benjamin Spock's classic manual on baby and child care—were each precariously perched atop the heads of three 13-year-olds who were practicing how to walk, their heels softly clicking across the marble floor."Very good, that's great," exclaimed Roslyn Rolan as young Natalie Delgado walked across the room.
Natalie, Isabella Safdie and Andrea de la Cruz, all from Ft. Lee, N.J., were spending the afternoon with Rolan, who has been teaching the girls how to walk, sit, eat, talk, even breathe, since they were 11 years old.Rolan, a petite 65-year-old with short blond hair and perfectly manicured nails, runs the Image & Etiquette Institute in Ft. Lee, where everyone from children to seniors come to take classes. They used to be relics of the past, along with the tea parties, cotillions and high-society soirees they evoked. But charm schools, also known as finishing schools, are making a comeback as an increasing number of people, especially teenage girls, are signing up to learn how to walk, talk, eat and dress with class.
"Today's society has reached an all-time low when it comes to manners," said Jolene Savage, who runs the Social Graces Academy in Topeka, Kan. "Parents growing up in the '60s and '70s were taught that etiquette was snobby and old school, so children grow up not knowing how to properly interact with others."Savage and other consultants said that some of the common mistakes people make are not making eye-contact when they talk to people, not introducing themselves and others properly and chewing gum in public.
Adults come to take classes on hygiene, social etiquette and personal grooming, especially people who want to move up in the corporate world or have to entertain moneyed clients.And although lessons are expensive—some hourlong sessions are as much as $300—more and more middle-class parents are sending their pre-teens and teens to these classes so that they can have an edge over the competition for college, career and beyond, even dating and marriage.
"It's very challenging to be a young woman today," said Rolan. "I feel as if charm courses give girls self-respect and confidence."Rolan charges between $1,500 to $2,000 for customized training sessions. She said she hears from people all the time that she's old-fashioned. "Oh please," she said with a flick of her hand, as though delicately shooing away a fly. "This is common courtesy."But not everyone agrees.
Catherine Kerrison, the co-chair of the Women's Studies Department at Villanova University, said charm schools are reminiscent of the 18th Century."The argument is that the way to restore order in all this apparent chaos is a return to the old ways," she said. "It's a way of ordering the world according to class.
"And while another criticism is that the classes are just another manifestation of children growing up too fast and doing too much, the kids have no complaints."It's fun," said Natalie Delgado. "There isn't anything about the charm course I don't enjoy."
1 comment:
I agree with this article. We have seen a lack of manners all around. Something needs to be done about it.
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